Tuesday, May 6, 2008
What do you say?
One of Collin's friends at daycare lost his father over the weekend in a motorcycle accident. He is only 4 and my heart breaks for him and his family. Today was his first day back at daycare and I was unsure of what to say to Collin about the situation so I just told him to make sure he was extra nice to all of his friends today. I knew at some point I was going to have to address this issue but I found myself totally unprepared. What do you tell a small child about death? I decided that I wasn't going to say anything to him ahead of time and wait and see what the little boy said about his dad and what Collin's sitter would say to the kids. I don't know exactly what was said but on the way home Collin informed me that this little boy's "dad is dead". He said it very matter of factly and I could tell he had no clue what it meant. He said the little boy had told him so and I could tell he had no clue what it meant. I told him that the little boy's daddy had died and that meant he was going to heaven to be with God. He wanted to know why. If only I had an answer to that... I simply told him that it was time for the daddy to go and be with God because God loves him so much. What else can you say? I didn't think I'd have to discuss this with him so early in life.
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1 comment:
That is so sad- I think you told him the right thing. The one thing I hear over and over again is to not tell them they went to sleep because then kids will be afraid of bed. I have a friend whose cousin murdered his girlfriend (the mother of his 3 year old). Nice guy, right? Anyway, my friend and her family were stuck picking up the pieces with the 3 year old and the counselors said to tell him that Mommy got sick and died and leave it at that. They said at that age they can't really comprehend anything anyway and the less information they get beyond the basics is better. Granted, that situation is so much different than yours. I hope you guys are dealing with it okay and that things get better for that family!!!
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