Valentine's Day

This will be the 10th Valentines Day that my husband and I have spent together and we have a long tradition of basically ignoring it that began before we even got married. Of course the first couple Valentine's Day's were celebrated because that's what you do in a new relationship but then we started thinking about it and came to the conclusion that we didn't need roses and expensive gifts to acknowledge our love for one another. Over the years we began by skipping presents and then cards. We'd still go out to dinner because, while we don't need an excuse to say I love you, we'll take one to go out to dinner. Then we had kids and learned about a whole new kind of love that was the same, yet totally different from the love we already knew. The first year after our son was born we went out to dinner because we needed some time together, without the baby, to enjoy each other's company and to relive the days when we had only each other to think about. Last year we skipped Valentine's Day all together. No cards, no gifts, no going out to dinner and that was just fine by us. (If you're counting, our son is two and a half) Aside from the year that we went to dinner with a group of friends, I doubt either one of us could tell you much about the other eight Valentine's Day's we've spent together. A nice dinner, a nice card, maybe a gift in the early years. But I could tell you lots about all the special "just because" moments we've had together over the years. All the moments that are just so blissfully ordinary, yet they mean far more than any extravagant Valentine gesture ever would. While we had previously considered Valentine's Day to be just another Hallmark Holiday, I'm begining to reconsider. Not because I want to bring back the cards and the gifts (although going out to dinner would be nice) but because it's one day a year to think about all of those moments you share together and a reason to take the time to say what's in your heart. My husband knows I love him and I know he loves me, we don't need Valentine's Day for that. But sometimes we take that knowledge for granted. Maybe this year I'll quit making fun of the Hallmark holiday that Valentine's Day has become and view it as a reminder that my husband and our children are people I cherish and I am grateful for every moment I have to spend with them. I've had a couple reminders recently that you never know when you've lived your last tomorrow and you don't always get a chance to make things right, so if it takes a Hallmark holiday to get people to tell someone they care, then that's fine by me. I'm not always good at expressing how I feel and sometimes Hallmark really can say it better than I could. I have a rule that the last words I always speak to my family before I leave them is "I love you". Even if I'm angry, I want them to know that I love them no matter what and if those were the last words we ever spoke, at least I would have no regrets. Some people probably find this silly but I would hate to think the last words I ever spoke to someone were something unkind or hurtful. This year Valentine's Day will be largely ignored once again. I know this because, like we do every year, we agreed we weren't making a big deal about it. I did suggest taking the kids out to dinner but he pointed out that the other couples in the restaurant might be looking for an evening out without kids (theirs or ours) and he's probably right so we've settled on ordering in. Sounds like a great night to me. My husband, my kids, some kind of yummy food I don't have to cook or clean up after, what's not to love about that?